My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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