I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
