Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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