this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize