yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
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just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
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