You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize