I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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