I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
