Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
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