i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
