My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
