People with herpes should wear stickers.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
