you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize