Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
