we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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