Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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