I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize