New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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