he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
