Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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