Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
