Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.