I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.