Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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