Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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  (703): He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet. http://tfl.nu/muj7
  Replies (28) Good night (746) Bad night (6204)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.

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  (314): In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night. http://tfl.nu/bhg6
  Replies (12) Good night (1922) Bad night (3107)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.

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  (248): we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome. http://tfl.nu/309i
  Replies (8) Good night (3607) Bad night (1544)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.

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  (864): Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants. http://tfl.nu/bdpr
  Replies (5) Good night (2163) Bad night (885)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people

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  (+44): she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people http://tfl.nu/xprr
  Replies (8) Good night (4207) Bad night (1303)
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  (619): View more from California

  I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

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  (619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9
  Replies (8) Good night (2241) Bad night (928)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?

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  (727): Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now? http://tfl.nu/ch6a
  Replies (11) Good night (740) Bad night (1476)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday

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  (412): i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed (201): so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday http://tfl.nu/f6fd
  Replies (6) Good night (1291) Bad night (800)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...

  (512): View more from Texas

  This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.

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  (512): Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it (1-512): We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream... (512): This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life. http://tfl.nu/ar28
  Replies (5) Good night (2869) Bad night (559)
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  (+33): View more from France

  And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".

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  (+33): And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?". http://tfl.nu/no4p
  Replies (4) Good night (726) Bad night (435)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!

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  (319): No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy! http://tfl.nu/f6zv
  Replies (10) Good night (561) Bad night (458)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.

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  (971): I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day. http://tfl.nu/yn9t
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (301)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  This was the best text I've ever woken up to

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  (734): I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck. (313): This was the best text I've ever woken up to http://tfl.nu/32h8
  Replies (1) Good night (728) Bad night (325)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.

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  (907): I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused. http://tfl.nu/yzqj
  Replies (6) Good night (448) Bad night (570)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.

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  (904): I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic. http://tfl.nu/k23m
  Replies (1) Good night (275) Bad night (163)

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