Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.

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  (201): i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness. http://tfl.nu/zg7h
  Replies (5) Good night (1183) Bad night (596)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop

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  (330): If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop http://tfl.nu/zan9
  Replies (18) Good night (701) Bad night (2629)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?

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  (208): How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles? http://tfl.nu/g9w4
  Replies (30) Good night (3835) Bad night (1592)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm you met him three days ago....

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said what I said

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  (267): We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for (215): Umm you met him three days ago.... (267): I said what I said http://tfl.nu/18h0
  Replies (30) Good night (7590) Bad night (1677)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling

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  (727): it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling http://tfl.nu/kv01
  Replies (6) Good night (2609) Bad night (914)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.

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  (941): Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches. http://tfl.nu/ctw0
  Replies (10) Good night (3156) Bad night (1414)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?

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  (816): There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be? http://tfl.nu/l5gd
  Replies (9) Good night (1949) Bad night (893)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.

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  (814): i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone. http://tfl.nu/kja0
  Replies (10) Good night (2130) Bad night (977)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.

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  (636): You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults. http://tfl.nu/yz23
  Replies (4) Good night (2266) Bad night (715)
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  (707): View more from California

  Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.

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  (707): Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/6mha
  Replies (6) Good night (1529) Bad night (470)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?

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  (614): So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes? http://tfl.nu/y2f0
  Replies (8) Good night (957) Bad night (360)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face

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  (917): I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face http://tfl.nu/busq
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (327)
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  (516): View more from New York

  guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys

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  (516): guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys http://tfl.nu/a0n0
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (350)
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  (310): View more from California

  Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.

  (310): View more from California

  But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.

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  (310): Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird. (310): But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better. http://tfl.nu/lfnf
  Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (276)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.

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  (732): Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS. http://tfl.nu/p93u
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (422)

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