He asked to "fluff my boner.."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's no shave November. This is our time.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
