I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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