last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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