at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
