Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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