I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
did i walk over a car last night?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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