i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
