i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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