I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
