OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We were destined to go to rehab together
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
