she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
