Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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