Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
