By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
