So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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