I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
