she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize