I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
