they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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