who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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