Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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