i think i have two assholes
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize