are you still at the devil's house?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
