Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
