So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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