How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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