Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize