Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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