Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Someone came in the potted fern
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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