It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
