i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
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Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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