I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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