Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
