Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
did i walk over a car last night?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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