laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
