that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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