I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
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This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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