Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
