I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
