dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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