I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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