is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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