I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
